Needles

NEEDLES

 

 

I have the unfortunate blessing and curse of having my blood drawn every Friday. It is a blessing because I am thankful for medical technology that keeps track of the thickness of my blood to help prevent me from having another "event" of a DVT! The curse of course is having to experience the needle in my arm every week.

 

Growing up in Hawaii as a little girl I was hospitalized often. I was a regular guest at Tripler Army Hospital on the Island of Oahu. I had constant tests being done on my little body as the Doctors were trying to figure out why I was continually having infections and severe headaches and fevers. I wish they would have just asked me. I wish they would have taken the time to talk to me about it. In "those days" sexual abuse on children was just not discussed, apparently not even by the medical professionals. I was ill because I was being molested on a weekly basis by a young man who was my babysitter while my mom partied with his mom. My brother was there also, he is two years older than me. He had to be quiet and not say anything about it. He suffered my abuse in his own way and it has had a toll on him.

 

One of my very clear memories about my time in Tripler Hospital was when President Johnson and his wife were in Hawaii. All of us children in the children's ward of Tripler were told that we would actually get to meet the President's wife! I was so excited! I remember that a very sweet nurse braided my hair and put ribbons in it so I would feel pretty for our special guest. It was my first and only time to have my hair braided.

 

Sadly, right before Lady Bird Johnson arrived, I was whisked off for yet another test with needles! It was a BRAIN WAVE test where they put dozens of little needles all over my head. They took my ribbons and my braids out. I was so sad. I cried and cried. I also missed the visit of our President's wife. I remember the disappointment I felt that day. Never mind the pain of the needles in my little head, I was so sad to have missed this special occasion and I was very sad that my pretty hairdo was destroyed. It was a sad day.

 

This memory teaches me things about how I can compare the pain and discomfort of needles to the different experiences of my life. That day brings painful and sad memories, yet the Doctors were trying to help me. If only they had paid attention to the timing of the test. The many shots and tests I have experienced with needles were and are to help me, yet they hurt...and so it can be with our words....this is where I am going with this.

 

Sometimes my words can be like needles...they can cause pain and remain as a memory of pain. Or they can cause pain, and yet the intention of them can be to help. Sometimes when I have a moment to speak words of help to someone, especially a child, they may feel like a poke and pain of a needle. I must be careful not to speak words that just cause pain because I am an speaking in anger or jealousy or being mean. I must choose my words carefully in order to make a moment matter in the life of a loved one, friend, and especially a child....

 

Back to my story...the good news is apparently Lady Bird Johnson heard how sad I was to have missed her visit and she actually mailed me a package with her picture, autographed and personalized to me, and a autographed picture of the President with a booklet all about the White House! I loved it and it made me feel so special. I had it for years and somewhere in my many moves it has been lost. Still, I have the memory...I am grateful.

 

Today I am vowing to not allow my words to be like needles unless they are to help, teach, train or encourage. I want my words to be kind and soothing, healing and helpful. I will never enjoy needles, still I am thankful for the lesson I have learned from them and for the help they provide to help me medically....hmmm...who would have thought?